Not from my house, haha
For anyone who has chanced upon this, I'm moving from this blog to a new one
http://confuero.tumblr.com/
I intend to blog more, also. See you there ;)
Monday, March 5, 2012
Saturday, November 26, 2011
OMG
Hi.
So I like taking pictures. For a while my lifelong dream was to own a digital camera. One Christmas, my parents bought me a digital camera. My reaction went a little something like this: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That camera got broken. Fast forward some amount of years and I buy myself another digital camera...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I get picture taking friends with their snazzy cameras called DSLRs, and I find out mine is called a Point and Shoot (P&S). No big.
Anyhow, my uncle asked me what I want for graduation. After some thought, I realized that I want to take my picture-taking to the next level, so I considered asking for a DSLR. I decided tonight to look and see what kind of price range that would be getting into. Don't want to be that psycho niece who takes advantage of gift opportunities. Anyway, I looked. My reaction was such:
o.O (Canon website)
o.O (Nikon website)
o.O (Sony website)
o.O (Ebay-I got desperate)
How the Heck does anything cost so much?
Needless to say, a DSLR will remain on my list of future things to get when I get a job. A really really good job...
So I like taking pictures. For a while my lifelong dream was to own a digital camera. One Christmas, my parents bought me a digital camera. My reaction went a little something like this: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That camera got broken. Fast forward some amount of years and I buy myself another digital camera...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I get picture taking friends with their snazzy cameras called DSLRs, and I find out mine is called a Point and Shoot (P&S). No big.
Anyhow, my uncle asked me what I want for graduation. After some thought, I realized that I want to take my picture-taking to the next level, so I considered asking for a DSLR. I decided tonight to look and see what kind of price range that would be getting into. Don't want to be that psycho niece who takes advantage of gift opportunities. Anyway, I looked. My reaction was such:
o.O (Canon website)
o.O (Nikon website)
o.O (Sony website)
o.O (Ebay-I got desperate)
How the Heck does anything cost so much?
Needless to say, a DSLR will remain on my list of future things to get when I get a job. A really really good job...
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Consider your thoughts
What do you think about? How many thoughts wander away from you?
Do you fantasize? What about?
Consider the idea that fantasies reveal what causes us dissatisfaction. We think things should be different, and in our minds conjure what would be ideal.
I dare to say that fantasies are not biblical. Follow what I'm saying. I'm talking about the self-satisfying, I would be so much better off if this were that, why can't this happen to me kind of fantasies. Why? Because we don't see, or refuse to see the beauty of God in every circumstance and instead pine after greener grass. Does not Romans 8:28 say that all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose? It does. And in Isaiah 55 God tells of His higher thoughts and ways. Just because we don't understand or even like the way things are going for us doesn't mean that it's bad, or not of God.
Now, that is not to say that as a Christian we should just accept everything thrown at us, that's ridiculous. What I'm saying is that in less than 'ideal' circumstance instead of retreating into the fantasy world of our selfish minds we should be seeking God. Learning about Him, asking for guidance in the tough time, and diligently seeking to learn whatever He's teaching. Life to be lived well does not involve satisfying every desire of our heart. It's knowing God through His Son Jesus Christ and finding out that true satisfaction does not come from things that we can see that perish under the sun. True satisfaction comes from God.
Do you fantasize? What about?
Consider the idea that fantasies reveal what causes us dissatisfaction. We think things should be different, and in our minds conjure what would be ideal.
I dare to say that fantasies are not biblical. Follow what I'm saying. I'm talking about the self-satisfying, I would be so much better off if this were that, why can't this happen to me kind of fantasies. Why? Because we don't see, or refuse to see the beauty of God in every circumstance and instead pine after greener grass. Does not Romans 8:28 say that all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose? It does. And in Isaiah 55 God tells of His higher thoughts and ways. Just because we don't understand or even like the way things are going for us doesn't mean that it's bad, or not of God.
Now, that is not to say that as a Christian we should just accept everything thrown at us, that's ridiculous. What I'm saying is that in less than 'ideal' circumstance instead of retreating into the fantasy world of our selfish minds we should be seeking God. Learning about Him, asking for guidance in the tough time, and diligently seeking to learn whatever He's teaching. Life to be lived well does not involve satisfying every desire of our heart. It's knowing God through His Son Jesus Christ and finding out that true satisfaction does not come from things that we can see that perish under the sun. True satisfaction comes from God.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
'Worship' music
Maybe I'm the only one with this problem, but do you ever find that when listening to a song that used to move your heart when it declared how awesome God is...just doesn't do it for you anymore?
And rather than being okay with that, you try to manufacture this emotional response, because if you get all emotional then you really mean it...
That's what I'm struggling with. What really bugs me, though, is that I know that approach to worship music (or anything God-related in general) is in fact not God worship, but self worship. I get so caught in how I feel, and what I'm doing, and if I do this what does it mean about me, when the whole time God is demanding that I forsake myself and get lost in His awesomeness. A particular song may speak very specifically about my life for a time, but Jesus is forever speaking.
And rather than being okay with that, you try to manufacture this emotional response, because if you get all emotional then you really mean it...
That's what I'm struggling with. What really bugs me, though, is that I know that approach to worship music (or anything God-related in general) is in fact not God worship, but self worship. I get so caught in how I feel, and what I'm doing, and if I do this what does it mean about me, when the whole time God is demanding that I forsake myself and get lost in His awesomeness. A particular song may speak very specifically about my life for a time, but Jesus is forever speaking.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Consistency
So I'm reading through the Bible, and am in 2nd Chronicles. At first I didn't expect much of it because the Chronicles literally document what the kings of Israel and Judah did. Nothing 'super-spiritual', right?
WRONG
There is so much to learn about God and how He treats us, His people, and how often we turn away from God.
Today in chapter 16 I finished the story of Asa, king of Judah. In the preceding chapters we saw how great a king Asa was, and how in God he defeated armies sooooooo much bigger than his, and how he led the people in worshiping God. Then we come to chapter 16, and the king of Israel is coming up against Asa, and Judah. Asa, then pays the king of Syria to 'handle his lightweight', to take care of Israel for him, and Syria obliges them. Hurray, no more trouble from Israel, right?
WRONG
God sends a prophet to Asa to rebuke him, because instead of crying out to God, who helped Asa defeat a much larger army, Asa relied on the king of Syria. Not only was this a slap to the face of God, but it also prevented God from exacting judgment on Syria because Judah was now in treaty with them. God therefore declared through the prophet that Asa, Judah would now have wars (they had had several decades of peace).
Well what did Asa do next? Cry out to God and ask for forgiveness? Humble himself in repentance, and entreat God's mercies? Nope. That would have been too easy. Asa got mad. Like, really mad. So mad that he threw the prophet into prison and inflicted cruelties on other people. Later in his life Asa contracted a disease in his feet that was severe. Even then he did not ask God for help, but instead sought help from many physicians. Then Asa died.
Surely this isn't that same king who defeated a massive army in the name of the Lord, who religiously reformed the kingdom of Judah by removing all of the foreign idols, tearing down the high places, and rebuilding parts of the temple of God. This can't be the same guy who removed his own mother from the position of queen because she made an idol of Asherah. No way.
But it was.
From this passage I see that living for God is a daily thing. Just because I serve in the church now, am striving to be holy now, doesn't mean that 20 years from now I am guaranteed to be doing the same. I will make mistakes, but when I do and God is telling me, "Hey, Amanda, you shouldn't have done that" how will I respond? Will I be indignant, or will I repent? This passage showed me that it's never too late to turn my back on God. The Bible as a whole shows me how it's never too late to repent and come back to God.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Just One?
2 Kings 17: 35-36
"The LORD made a covenant with them and commanded them, 'You shall not fear other gods or bow yourselves to them or serve them or sacrifice to them, but you shall fear the LORD, who brought you out of the land of Egypt with great power and with an outstretched arm. You shall bow yourselves to Him, and to Him you will sacrifice.' "
So, I know the commandment about making God number one in my life. "You shall have no other gods before me", it says in Exodus 20, but here in Kings it's talking about having gods after God, also. But what does that matter? If I have God as my number one, how does looking to other things like money or other people secondarily change anything about our relationship?
hmmmm...
Well what if I was dating a guy, Steve. He was the most fantastic person I have ever met. He's kind, caring, and compassionate. He loves me in spite of my flaws, and isn't just trying to get in my pants. He's gone through every Aunt, Uncle, cousin, sibling, and parent just to get with me. He is my number 1 guy. But then, on the side, I Bob, whom I like to spend Thursday evenings with, because he's a good cook. Or on Saturdays, I like to cuddle up with Billy and watch the football game. BUT every other day of the week I'm Steve's girl. Clearly Steve is more important than Bob, and Billy combined, since he has 5 days, and they have 1 day each.
Is that not still a cheating heart?
If this is wrong on the dating scene, how much worse is it in the spiritual realm where God has literally overcome all of heaven and hell just to be with someone as undeserving and wretched as I. And I'm wondering why I shouldn't have any gods after Him?
He's everything.
"The LORD made a covenant with them and commanded them, 'You shall not fear other gods or bow yourselves to them or serve them or sacrifice to them, but you shall fear the LORD, who brought you out of the land of Egypt with great power and with an outstretched arm. You shall bow yourselves to Him, and to Him you will sacrifice.' "
So, I know the commandment about making God number one in my life. "You shall have no other gods before me", it says in Exodus 20, but here in Kings it's talking about having gods after God, also. But what does that matter? If I have God as my number one, how does looking to other things like money or other people secondarily change anything about our relationship?
hmmmm...
Well what if I was dating a guy, Steve. He was the most fantastic person I have ever met. He's kind, caring, and compassionate. He loves me in spite of my flaws, and isn't just trying to get in my pants. He's gone through every Aunt, Uncle, cousin, sibling, and parent just to get with me. He is my number 1 guy. But then, on the side, I Bob, whom I like to spend Thursday evenings with, because he's a good cook. Or on Saturdays, I like to cuddle up with Billy and watch the football game. BUT every other day of the week I'm Steve's girl. Clearly Steve is more important than Bob, and Billy combined, since he has 5 days, and they have 1 day each.
Is that not still a cheating heart?
If this is wrong on the dating scene, how much worse is it in the spiritual realm where God has literally overcome all of heaven and hell just to be with someone as undeserving and wretched as I. And I'm wondering why I shouldn't have any gods after Him?
He's everything.
Monday, August 30, 2010
A fox or a crow
So somewhere around last Wednesday night I found myself to be in a sour mood. Nothing was going the way I thought that it should. My Financial Aid was not going to be processed in time for the fee deadline, a person I know was acting in a way that was displeasing to me, I had so much work to do before school even started, etc. etc. All these things were stressing me out.
That evening, and into the next morning I realized that to deal with these stressors, I was subconsciously trying to convince myself that there was nothing that I could about my circumstances, and that I was better off leaving things well enough alone. "You never really liked such and such, anyway", or "You need a break from school, it's too hard here". Talk about your sour grapes (Reference: http://www.aesops-fables.org.uk/aesop-fable-the-fox-and-the-grapes.htm).
That's pretty sorry attitude for a Christian to have, and I knew this. There is no way God would bring me to this point, and call me to the other side for Him not to prepare a bridge somewhere, somehow. "Why [am I] afraid?" (Matthew 8:26). So, the prayer and surrendering began.
That day, God showed me how my fees would be paid. He gave me peace about my friend, and all that I had to do. More importantly, God showed me that He is more capable of anything than I could ever imagine. He literally provided the funds for my fees to be paid before I even knew that I would have grief from the FinAid office. Who works problems out before they even happen? God does.
God also showed me how He doesn't do things when I think they should be done, or how I think they should be done. Everything is according to His plan, not mine. Sometimes His plan requires more of me, than I thought I could possibly give. Before I had any good news on the Thursday, I spent a majority of the day talking with FinAid counselors, calling people, looking up banks, etc. before I received a ram in the bush in the form of my sister. I had never had to do so much, before. Things usually just worked out, or someone would work them out for me. On that Thursday, however, my whole future was put in my hands, and I heard God telling me, "Trust and obey Me".
God really blessed my effort. Not my normal kind of effort in which I do what I think should be done, and demand for God to make it work, but rather, I really asked God to show me where to go, and what to do, and whatever He said, I did my best to do my best at it.
Through all that, God showed made me more akin to different Aesop fable:
A Crow, half-dead with thirst, came upon a Pitcher which had once been full of water; but when the Crow put its beak into the mouth of the Pitcher he found that only very little water was left in it, and that he could not reach far enough down to get at it. He tried, and he tried, but at last had to give up in despair. Then a thought came to him, and he took a pebble and dropped it into the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped it into the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into
the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into the Pitcher. At last, at last, he saw the water mount up near him, and after casting in a few more pebbles he was able to quench his thirst and save his life.
God knows what I want, but more importantly, God knows what I need. He knew that more than situations changing, I needed to know that He is a God greater than all my wants and desires, and that He really cares about them. He also doesn't just give me what I need, but gives me the tools to get what I need. I must ask Him to open my eyes to see the pebbles He has provided, so that I may drink.
That evening, and into the next morning I realized that to deal with these stressors, I was subconsciously trying to convince myself that there was nothing that I could about my circumstances, and that I was better off leaving things well enough alone. "You never really liked such and such, anyway", or "You need a break from school, it's too hard here". Talk about your sour grapes (Reference: http://www.aesops-fables.org.uk/aesop-fable-the-fox-and-the-grapes.htm).
That's pretty sorry attitude for a Christian to have, and I knew this. There is no way God would bring me to this point, and call me to the other side for Him not to prepare a bridge somewhere, somehow. "Why [am I] afraid?" (Matthew 8:26). So, the prayer and surrendering began.
That day, God showed me how my fees would be paid. He gave me peace about my friend, and all that I had to do. More importantly, God showed me that He is more capable of anything than I could ever imagine. He literally provided the funds for my fees to be paid before I even knew that I would have grief from the FinAid office. Who works problems out before they even happen? God does.
God also showed me how He doesn't do things when I think they should be done, or how I think they should be done. Everything is according to His plan, not mine. Sometimes His plan requires more of me, than I thought I could possibly give. Before I had any good news on the Thursday, I spent a majority of the day talking with FinAid counselors, calling people, looking up banks, etc. before I received a ram in the bush in the form of my sister. I had never had to do so much, before. Things usually just worked out, or someone would work them out for me. On that Thursday, however, my whole future was put in my hands, and I heard God telling me, "Trust and obey Me".
God really blessed my effort. Not my normal kind of effort in which I do what I think should be done, and demand for God to make it work, but rather, I really asked God to show me where to go, and what to do, and whatever He said, I did my best to do my best at it.
Through all that, God showed made me more akin to different Aesop fable:
A Crow, half-dead with thirst, came upon a Pitcher which had once been full of water; but when the Crow put its beak into the mouth of the Pitcher he found that only very little water was left in it, and that he could not reach far enough down to get at it. He tried, and he tried, but at last had to give up in despair. Then a thought came to him, and he took a pebble and dropped it into the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped it into the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into
the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into the Pitcher. At last, at last, he saw the water mount up near him, and after casting in a few more pebbles he was able to quench his thirst and save his life.
God knows what I want, but more importantly, God knows what I need. He knew that more than situations changing, I needed to know that He is a God greater than all my wants and desires, and that He really cares about them. He also doesn't just give me what I need, but gives me the tools to get what I need. I must ask Him to open my eyes to see the pebbles He has provided, so that I may drink.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Oh What to do today
To Do
1) Find/Acquire food because I have to (did you know that food places don't open until 10:30-11:00 am during the summer? CRAZY!)
2) Pick up solutions manuals at CPS
3) Figure out a place to study since I stupidly left my buzzcard at home >.<
4) Learn EVERYTHING!
5) Ace finals
Sounds like a comprehensive list to me.
p.s. I am eliciting your prayers. Also, if you have 'finals food' that you want to give me for free, go right ahead :D
love you, because of Jesus Christ
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Watch this video!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIeFoI03uFY
It's super cute, AND helps people in North Korea.
Just do it, I'm telling you to :D
Monday, May 3, 2010
This is your life
Are you who you want to be?
That question struck me today as I listened to Switchfoot while studying for circuits. I've heard the song so many times that it didn't even register until the song was almost over. Am I who I want to be?
Almost everyday I think of something I did before with regret, wishing I had lived just little bit better, studied for that extra hour, ignored facebook, etc. Sometime yesterday, though, the fact that what I was doing at that exact moment would impact my today finally clicked. But it still wasn't enough to "motivate" me to be better.
Listening to Switchfoot, I think I get it now, or at least am beginning to. My life, though not my own is my own. It is not my own in that I aim to surrender it to God, but it is my own in that surrender does not happen passively. I have to choose it. I have to do it. The good character that I want to have will not just happen, I have to make uncomfortable decisions. I have to change, and know that change feels like crap. It's so worth it.
I must be that which I desire to become.
That question struck me today as I listened to Switchfoot while studying for circuits. I've heard the song so many times that it didn't even register until the song was almost over. Am I who I want to be?
Almost everyday I think of something I did before with regret, wishing I had lived just little bit better, studied for that extra hour, ignored facebook, etc. Sometime yesterday, though, the fact that what I was doing at that exact moment would impact my today finally clicked. But it still wasn't enough to "motivate" me to be better.
Listening to Switchfoot, I think I get it now, or at least am beginning to. My life, though not my own is my own. It is not my own in that I aim to surrender it to God, but it is my own in that surrender does not happen passively. I have to choose it. I have to do it. The good character that I want to have will not just happen, I have to make uncomfortable decisions. I have to change, and know that change feels like crap. It's so worth it.
I must be that which I desire to become.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Wordpress
What is the sudden wordpress epidemic? It's like Manifest Destiny or something, everyone is going to it.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
The Levites
Deuteronomy 12:19
19 Take care that you do not neglect the Levite as long as you live in your land.
The Levites were the tribe of Israel God designated to serve Him specifically, in the tabernacle. They are comparable to our pastors and ministers/leaders in church. They did not receive land in the Promised Land. There reward was to serve God for all of their lives.
My thought was how can I take care of the chosen of the chosen of God's people? Aren't they like super blessed?
What God said to me is that they are human too. Our Leaders have things that stress them out, that worry them, that attack them everyday like the rest of us. AND on top of that they have a target on their back because they are giving so much of themselves so that God's Kingdom will grow, and Satan doesn't like that.
I was convicted to pray more for our leaders. To serve them more, and seek to bless them as they bless me. That included the Pastors, the FG Leaders, the Missions team, the Ministry team leaders, etc. So many people who are giving their lives daily for God. Let's take care of them, and support them however we can. The leaders need us as much as we need them.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
That seems like a lot...
Deuteronomy 6:5-9 (English Standard Version)
5You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7C)"> You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8D)"> You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9E)"> You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
That's probably why the passage says to love God first, because it's impossible to live a life dedicated to God without first loving Him.
Thinking on the first verse, I know I love God with my soul, because through God I have been set free from sin. With my heart I love Him because I have been healed from many hurts. With my might? Not much lovin' going on there. Sure, I do stuff at church, but those merely have the label of being for God. I need my whole life to have one purpose, which is to be an offering to God. My offering is humility, and obedience-1 Samuel 15:22. I can't love God because I get caught up in doing what I think is right, rather than what He commands me to do, and "good intentions" blind me from seeing God. If I loved God more, and ignored myself, I could see Him for what He is, which is beautiful. Maybe it is then that I would declare God in all that I do. It's hard not to talk of something I know to be awesome. Like my mom's food. I would talk day and night about it if I could.
What about God? I have seen with my own eyes what He can and has done for me, and I have heard His voice. Why not wear His name as a banner on my forehead? In my relationships, in school?
God is more than that Awesome.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
My what?
So, I'm reading through the Old Testament law, right now. I'm in Numbers. These books are more interesting than I remember. God didn't change from the Old to the New Testament, nor is He any different today.
I found this verse to be particularly interesting in my reading today:
In this chapter God is addressing Aaron and the Levites, and He's telling them what being solely for God looks like, etc.
The them God is referring to are the other tribes of Israel. It struck me because here God is saying that He is the reward for the Levites. Not land and possessions the whole nation might get from battles. Not glory, nothing. Their inheritance, all that they will have forever is God, and what He gives to them.
THAT'S CRAZY! In a great way.
To be chosen by God to be His only, and to dwell with Him is pretty awesome.
The cool thing is, I am not a Levite. There isn't even a person with the name Levi in my family, on either side. I would probably have been classified as a Gentile. Yet, God has chosen me to be His only, and to be with Him. God wants to be my life and love, and compared to the world Dios es El mejor de mejor.
Thank you, Jesus, for dying for me that I could have God as my life and love.
I found this verse to be particularly interesting in my reading today:
Numbers 18:20 (New King James Version)
20 Then the LORD said to Aaron: “You shall have no inheritance in their land, nor shall you have any portion among them; I am your portion and your inheritance among the children of Israel.
In this chapter God is addressing Aaron and the Levites, and He's telling them what being solely for God looks like, etc.
The them God is referring to are the other tribes of Israel. It struck me because here God is saying that He is the reward for the Levites. Not land and possessions the whole nation might get from battles. Not glory, nothing. Their inheritance, all that they will have forever is God, and what He gives to them.
THAT'S CRAZY! In a great way.
To be chosen by God to be His only, and to dwell with Him is pretty awesome.
The cool thing is, I am not a Levite. There isn't even a person with the name Levi in my family, on either side. I would probably have been classified as a Gentile. Yet, God has chosen me to be His only, and to be with Him. God wants to be my life and love, and compared to the world Dios es El mejor de mejor.
Thank you, Jesus, for dying for me that I could have God as my life and love.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
I miss you
I dreamed a dream, and in it I was falling asleep in the living room of my apartment. I heard my sister walk into the apartment followed by my dad. In my dream I kept my eyes closed because even in my dreams I know he's not here. I didn't want to open my eyes and make him disappear. I let him come close and kiss my cheek like he used to, to tell me that he loved me.
Then I woke up.
And he was gone.
Then I woke up.
And he was gone.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Seriously?
I understand that English may not be your first language. Don't get me wrong, I think that's really cool to be bilingual, or trilingual, etc. But in mixed company, could you stick to English, please? Or at least translate what you are saying?
Why?
It leaves the rest of us out, and quite frankly, it's kind of rude. When you're speaking to friends and all of a sudden you switch to a language that not everyone speaks it ostracizes people, and it leaves those of us monolinguals slightly bitter.
Why?
It leaves the rest of us out, and quite frankly, it's kind of rude. When you're speaking to friends and all of a sudden you switch to a language that not everyone speaks it ostracizes people, and it leaves those of us monolinguals slightly bitter.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
No more motions
Christian duty checklist:
1) Eagle's Nest homeless ministry-check
2) Daily devotional time- 1/2 check
3) Prayer for strength in the midst of fasting-check
.
.
.
Still somehow I don't feel...good. Christianity is more than a checklist of "good" things. I say this from daily experience. So many times I find myself trying to be a person God can love. You know the type, nice and friendly, responsible, respectful and respectable, etc. The only problem is I could never be worthy of God's love. Honestly, I am a manipulative, deceptive, selfish person.
Yet, He loves me. And He's growing me a little bit more everyday into the person He wants me to be.
That's what it's about, the love of God/Jesus/the Holy Spirit. Despite my flaws as a person He loves me, and wants to be with me. How could I not praise a God like that?
So, I know what I must do. I must be because God loves. Not to earn brownie points because they don't exist here. Besides, that is a self-centered way of viewing my relationship with God, because I'm making it about what I am, and what I do. If I wake up more in love with God it will transform all that I do.
There. I want to love God more.
1) Eagle's Nest homeless ministry-check
2) Daily devotional time- 1/2 check
3) Prayer for strength in the midst of fasting-check
.
.
.
Still somehow I don't feel...good. Christianity is more than a checklist of "good" things. I say this from daily experience. So many times I find myself trying to be a person God can love. You know the type, nice and friendly, responsible, respectful and respectable, etc. The only problem is I could never be worthy of God's love. Honestly, I am a manipulative, deceptive, selfish person.
Yet, He loves me. And He's growing me a little bit more everyday into the person He wants me to be.
That's what it's about, the love of God/Jesus/the Holy Spirit. Despite my flaws as a person He loves me, and wants to be with me. How could I not praise a God like that?
So, I know what I must do. I must be because God loves. Not to earn brownie points because they don't exist here. Besides, that is a self-centered way of viewing my relationship with God, because I'm making it about what I am, and what I do. If I wake up more in love with God it will transform all that I do.
There. I want to love God more.
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