A fox or a crow

So somewhere around last Wednesday night I  found myself to be in a sour mood. Nothing was going the way I thought that it should. My Financial Aid was not going to be processed in time for the fee deadline, a person I know was acting in a way that was displeasing to me, I had so much work to do before school even started, etc. etc. All these things were stressing me out. 

That evening, and into the next morning I realized that to deal with these stressors,  I was subconsciously trying to convince myself that there was nothing that I could about my circumstances, and that I was better off leaving things well enough alone. "You never really liked such and such, anyway", or "You need a break from school, it's too hard here". Talk about your sour grapes (Reference: http://www.aesops-fables.org.uk/aesop-fable-the-fox-and-the-grapes.htm).


That's pretty sorry attitude for a Christian to have, and I knew this. There is no way God would bring me to this point, and call me to the other side for Him not to prepare a bridge somewhere, somehow. "Why [am I] afraid?" (Matthew 8:26). So, the prayer and surrendering began.


That day, God showed me how my fees would be paid. He gave me peace about my friend, and all that I had to do. More importantly, God showed me that He is more capable of anything than I could ever imagine. He literally provided the funds for my fees to be paid before I even knew that I would have grief from the FinAid office. Who works problems out before they even happen? God does.


God also showed me how He doesn't do things when I think they should be done, or how I think they should be done. Everything is according to His plan, not mine. Sometimes His plan requires more of me, than I thought I could possibly give. Before I had any good news on the Thursday, I spent a majority of the day talking with FinAid counselors, calling people, looking up banks, etc. before I received a ram in the bush in the form of my sister. I had never had to do so much, before. Things usually just worked out, or someone would work them out for me. On that Thursday, however, my whole future was put in my hands, and I heard God telling me, "Trust and obey Me". 


God really blessed my effort. Not my normal kind of effort in which I do what I think should be done, and demand for God to make it work, but rather, I really asked God to show me where to go, and what to do, and whatever He said, I did my best to do my best at it. 


Through all that, God showed made me more akin to different Aesop fable:
A Crow, half-dead with thirst, came upon a Pitcher which had once been full of water; but when the Crow put its beak into the mouth of the Pitcher he found that only very little water was left in it, and that he could not reach far enough down to get at it. He tried, and he tried, but at last had to give up in despair. Then a thought came to him, and he took a pebble and dropped it into the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped it into the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into
the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into the Pitcher. At last, at last, he saw the water mount up near him, and after casting in a few more pebbles he was able to quench his thirst and save his life.


God knows what I want, but more importantly, God knows what I need. He knew that more than situations changing, I needed to know that He is a God greater than all my wants and desires, and that He really cares about them. He also doesn't just give me what I need, but gives me the tools to get what I need. I must ask Him to open my eyes to see the pebbles He has provided, so that I may drink.