This is your life

Are you who you want to be? 

That question struck me today as I listened to Switchfoot while studying for circuits. I've heard the song so many times that it didn't even register until the song was almost over. Am I who I want to be?
Almost everyday I think of something I did before with regret, wishing I had lived just little bit better, studied for that extra hour, ignored facebook, etc. Sometime yesterday, though, the fact that what I was doing at that exact moment would impact my today finally clicked. But it still wasn't enough to "motivate" me to be better.


Listening to Switchfoot, I think I get it now, or at least am beginning to. My life, though not my own is my own. It is not my own in that I aim to surrender it to God, but it is my own in that surrender does not happen passively. I have to choose it. I have to do it. The good character that I want to have will not just happen, I have to make uncomfortable decisions. I have to change, and know that change feels like crap. It's so worth it.


I must be that which I desire to become.