I miss you

I dreamed a dream, and in it I was falling asleep in the living room of my apartment. I heard my sister walk into the apartment followed by my dad. In my dream I kept my eyes closed because even in my dreams I know he's not here. I didn't want to open my eyes and make him disappear. I let him come close and kiss my cheek like he used to, to tell me that he loved me.

Then I woke up.

And he was gone.

Just wondering...

Nothing serious, a passing thought really...

will I see you again?

Once again I thank You

Lord, thank You for forgiveness. I can be such a prideful jerk

Seriously?

I understand that English may not be your first language. Don't get me wrong, I think that's really cool to be bilingual, or trilingual, etc. But in mixed company, could you stick to English, please? Or at least translate what you are saying?
Why?
It leaves the rest of us out, and quite frankly, it's kind of rude. When you're speaking to friends and all of a sudden you switch to a language that not everyone speaks it ostracizes people, and it leaves those of us monolinguals slightly bitter.

No more motions

Christian duty checklist:
1) Eagle's Nest homeless ministry-check
2) Daily devotional time- 1/2 check
3) Prayer for strength in the midst of fasting-check
.
.
.
Still somehow I don't feel...good. Christianity is more than a checklist of "good" things. I say this from daily experience. So many times I find myself trying to be a person God can love. You know the type, nice and friendly, responsible, respectful and respectable, etc. The only problem is I could never be worthy of God's love. Honestly, I am a manipulative, deceptive, selfish person.

Yet, He loves me. And He's growing me a little bit more everyday into the person He wants me to be.

That's what it's about, the love of God/Jesus/the Holy Spirit. Despite my flaws as a person He loves me, and wants to be with me. How could I not praise a God like that?

So, I know what I must do. I must be because God loves. Not to earn brownie points because they don't exist here. Besides, that is a self-centered way of viewing my relationship with God, because I'm making it about what I am, and what I do. If I wake up more in love with God it will transform all that I do.
There. I want to love God more.

Strange Days

Preparing for missions...
I'm soooooooo busy...
Need to fight for my Quiet Time with God...
Am slacking in school, sort of...I am doing more work, but it's still last minute...
I dropped Circuits, so school is better...
I hope Tamara gets back from D.C. tonight, safely!...
I want a moment to breathe that doesn't have to be scheduled in...

God is Lord of all.

At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Your glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now?

Matthew 28:19-20

So whether or not I go on missions this summer, these are songs that have encouraged me to really commit myself without fear to the plan that God has for me.

Song-Artist-Album

1) In Me-Casting Crowns-Lifesong
2) Let It Go-Tenth Avenue North-Over and Underneath
3) Mission's Flame-Matt Redman-How Great is our God
4) Not to Us-Chris Tomlin-Not to Us
5) Yours-Stephen Curtis Chapman-This Moment
6) He Reigns-Newsboys-Adoration
7) If You Want Me To-Ginny Owens-If You Want Me To
8) Message-Sanctus Real-Fight the Tide

I will update this list as I remember songs, and as I learn new ones. I strongly encourage anyone and everyone to listen.