yea...

I want to get away, I want to get away...

Hiegh Ho Silver!

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo

This is a time of letting go.
Letting go of those things I thought I had control of
Letting go of those bad habits
All of them *ouch*
Change hurts
Letting go of you.
You're not mine
Letting go of my "religion"
I want a relationship
Letting go of my "understanding"
It has profited me nothing thus far

Instead I take up Your burden
It's not very heavy
I know I put it down a while ago, but if you let me...
I'll gladly pick it up now
You said you have always known me
So please, could you tell me who I'm supposed to be?
I thought I was telling myself who I was, but I see now that it wasn't me
It was a Liar
I want to know who You want me to be
I want to know You
To be where You are

Please...
please help me, Lord

Oh Really?

So I'm not feeling to good, a little bit sad, a little bit lonely...
I just want to be myself....

God why am I ignoring you? Am I so stubborn that I think that I can deal with my own problems, even though You have clearly proven otherwise? Lord, soften my heart, I just want to be with You

Sooooooooooooooo

So I'm just chillin', doing homework and stuff. Avoiding awkwardness and how I really feel about some things, since how I really feel always gets me into trouble...

:-D

Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (I hate pink, but whatever)

So it's summertime, W00T!
I'm actually pretty excited about it. I got the job at Camp Wannaklot, and camp with Town Center is only $100.
I have a summer Reading List that consists of:
Ella Enchanted (Have)
Eldest (Have)
Watership Down (Have)
!984 (Have)
Brave New World (Have somewhere)
etc...

It is also the end of my first year at Georgia Tech, HURRAY!!!

Well Here's the Thing...

I'm utterly confused. I have no clue as to who I am, or what I want, or how I truly feel, or anything. Why is it so hard to discern whether or not I feel something or not? I don't understand why there should be any question.

It's because I screwed up the first time. If I hadn't been so hasty, or if I hadn't been looking for validation I wouldn't be so hesitant right now.

How do I know that I'm not just trying to not be alone right now? Or what if I simply fell under the spell of passionate music? (Moulin Rouge has an awesome score)

But then what if there is something legitimate? What if...

I don't know why...

I...I feel like crying